Reading Response: The Sequel

Josh- Calisthenic Week Two

The language you used in the first opening stanza is great. The words you use create a nice flow. Particularly the "four false screws" and the "leather cuff cracked." Nice crisp rhythm about them and how they're ordered. I had to reread the questionnaire part a few times. It appears as though you riffed off of the watch while at the same time cataloging it's different attributes. I can just picture the type of watch you are describing without even seeing it, so in that respect you succeeded in illustrating and with all questions nonetheless! While at the same time you include questions like "Can a cow be satisfied?" and "Why didn't Newton include Indigo?" which balances out the sort of inventory you built around the watch and describing it. Good balance, some repetition. It left me wanting answers to the questions, or maybe more questions. Regardless, I wanted to see more.

Samaria- Free Write week 2

I am going to start with my favorite part, the rhyming of care and chair was very well timed and flowed very nicely. The end of line two, "Ha!" was a nice way to change the rhythm of the poem and reset the mood of it. Overall this is a good first write, I would encourage you to try to strengthen the power of the language, specifically the last three lines and the first two lines. The skeletons are there, maybe do what we did in class today in regards to picking and choosing words or adding words. "Hovering morning birds" is a mouthful and may be more powerful if you use some other words to reduce the syllable count. Additionally it's understood that birds can fly (hover) and that birds eat in the morning. Like Dr. Davidson says you get that for free. Overall I like this poem, specifically because it does paint a picture and it's something that I have totally done or can relate to.